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Banditos vs Injuns

The two ‘badguys’ of Cowboy movies and finally a western shootout without whitemen.

Pancho Villa (the one who cross the Mexican border and back and LIVED)

REVOLUCIÓN! [1]

Meet the Mexican who’s appearance is the only image an American can comprehend when thinking of a Mexican, other than Wal Mart employees. HA! At first I don’t know why Crazy Horse was considered a superior tactician, than I remembered that Pancho invaded the USA thinking that it would help his war (instead lost 100s of men from future battles with the USA)- smart move. Audacity has its downsides when you think you’re invincible, and now the US army hunts you for a decade. Yes, he became the Bin Laden of his day, except I don’t want Pancho to be classified as “f***ward evil d**khead” like Bin.

Oh yeah, the actor playing Panch Villa is Italian… CALIFONIA DOESN’T HAVE ANY MEXICANS TO PLAY THE HERO OF MEXICO!?

1894 Winchester Repeating Rifle A smaller Winchester compared to Jesse James’ with only 10 rounds. Although almost identical otherwise, it is lighter, faster and more reliable than the Herny.

Colt Bisley Pistol- Well Pancho must suck at the quickdraw with that arthritis, and it shows… sort of I guess. Well at least you have that bandoliers, so running out of ammo won’t be a problem- slowly reloading in battle will. I looked at the information of this weapon and it’s not designed for war technically; it was designed for civilian defense, easy use, and for handicapped people. A weapon designed for civilians rarely is useful in war.

Bolo Knife How is this knife so DULL? It took a lot of slashes to do lethal damage, I’m surprised it isn’t sharper. Well at least it isn’t A STICK. This weapon won’t break.

Crazy Horse

Oh Crazy Horse… You have the word (crazy) in your name yet you’re actually saner than half of the celebrity warriors, even if you hallucinate and believe you’re bulletproof [well actually he died from a bayonet in real life and wasn’t shot in the simulation, so there’s something to these hallucinations I’m not getting].

Oh, and nice to know that Sitting Bull is not mentioned AT ALL- which I find weird cause he was normally credited for Big Horn accidentally.

Henry Rifle- I would be a TROLL in the American Civil War when my guys pick of Confederate singleshot musketeers with a Henry. Similar to the PRK/PRD comparison- the larger magazine isn’t better if it jams. A jam is random and can take longer than the reload, so there are times when the Henry shoots only 7 times and then has to clear the jam while the Winchester fires all 10 rounds.

1873 Colt Peacemaker Pistol- I want to see a shootout at high-noon with a Native American and Mexican (WITHOUT ARTHRITIS) cause seeing two white guys dueling in a western gets old after the 183rd time... Oh yeah, the pistol. It’s ok. Not much I can compare it to.

Inyankapemniimoeni Football Club Thing- I wanted to see a similar weapon, it’s a tomahawk that was more blunt. This is a lighter version and shows to be surprisingly lethal if it hits the head. God, that was disgusting when it pierced the skull like that! But still, it is a rock on a stick. Well if I was Pancho, I would break this thing in half and go slasher on Crazy Horse- which is what happened (spoiler).

Match

Before I even saw this episode I could tell that Pancho would win. Not only are Crazy Horse’s weapons older, but Native Americans had to steal their enemy’s weapons. So you have an army having old, used weapons without the knowledge or resources to repair or maintain the guns. It was a fight between a somewhat developed country vs a tribe with no development, stone age technology and resources- guess who wins?

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