Mafia vs Yakuza


Don’t you love the Mafia, when they aren’t threatening you? Not that big of a deal anymore though, but BRUTAL in their days…….. Yeah, I can’t think of anything else to say. Watch the Godfather, and that’s sort of what the Mafia is like.

Tommy Gun The Tommy Gun is a weapon that still exists today despite its age. The most famous submachine gun of all time, this weapon currently surpasses all the other submachine guns due to its sheer payload of 50-100 rounds if it wasn’t so heavy. Not accurate and clumsy, the firepower seems to make up for all its flaws but this weapon is no match for long range and accurate guns like modern assault rifles.

Molotov Cocktail Wow, the Mafia have a piss poor budget. Anyone can make a Molotov, anyone can make a Molotov. Glass bottle, gasoline, newspaper and a lighter- it costs $15 at most. This arson weapon is useless in battle. Arming it requires both hands, one for a lighter, making it a slow to activate bomb. As a bomb, the splash damage is too small to deliver a kill unless it is directly thrown at the person. Great for starting a fire, not for killing someone on the street wielding a gun.

Baseball Bat BONK, I love the idea of using a bat as a weapon- I always wanted to see the damage it causes. A Bat is very fast for a large club, and its length keeps enemies at bay. Although not always instantly lethal, a direct hit will either stun or knock out the foe long enough to allow a continuous beating. The best thing about this weapon- it is perfectly LEGAL to own. A lot of people own one. I own one.

Sawed-Off Shotgun Don’t you just love post civil war guns? Instead of firing 1 round per reload, this has 2! Isn’t that amazing? No? Of course not. With only 2 rounds in it, it is the worst modern shotgun. Being shorter in barrel length, it does have more maneuverability but almost no range. However I believe that virtually any modern gun can outperform a pistol. The shotgun has a slightly higher chance of blowing up half of your f**king face, while a pistol isn’t as devastating, needing a clean shot in the head or heart to kill.

Ice Pick The Ice Pick has unrivaled penetration power. It is stopped only by its handle. However for a knife, it has weak slashing power and no known blocking abilities. Whatever, still a great improvised shank.

Terrain- City and Indoors- Tommy gun in a crowded city or indoors is insane. This explains the lack of long range rifles in this fight.


The rise of the Yakuza had to deal with the most serious case of split personality disorder from another nation. The Americans went from racist anti-japanese Looney Toons episodes, carpetbombing Tokyo civilians, and nuking 2 cities of civilians... to being Japan’s best friend 10 years later. In that chaotic shift, of course crime is going to flourish, mainly because you need money fast but your house was burned down. Yeah, I’d go criminal if the police stations were nuked. The Yakuza still rule the Japanese underground today but like the Mafia haven’t done anything big nowadays. But you got to admit, the Japanese Mafia hasn’t been dethroned by the Bloods and Crips (only because there’s only Japanese people in Japan).

British StenMkII The Sten is one of the longest ranged and accurate submachine gun yet, but the firepower is average- and in a sub vs sub firefight the firepower wins. The idea of a submachine gun is to spray lead, and lead spreading is only slightly above average.

Ceramic Grenade These bombs are… ok, for retro homemade grenades. Despite being used as a flash grenade, it is lethal. However, it is one of the weakest bombs yet. I would rather buy a real grenade, but the idea was that Japan ran out of real grenades at the end of WW2 so…

Nunckucks Ah… how cute, the ganster thinks he’s a ninja. These are the weakest clubs yet, requiring multiple strikes to guarantee a kill, and yet these ‘weapons’ are sometimes considered ‘cool’. I don’t care how ‘cool’ it is, I can do more damage with a brick. The skill needed to use a small weak weapon is not worth it, it is very easy to counter after getting hit by it.

Walter P38 The Walter pistol has nothing special about it. Next weapon………………………………… OK FINE! I’ll tell you my viewpoint on pistols in general. So many warriors have a pistol and yet it is one of the worst modern weapons. It has less range than a rifle with less lethality than a shotgun. Its only advantage is being small and light weight. Everyone needs a sidearm, and a pistol is normally the choice people make, but is nothing compared to other guns.

Sai I mentioned Michelangelo so lets go to Raphael. The Sai is a unique knife weapon, it is one of the largest knives that can be used as one. It can disarm large weapons and parry, that’s cool. Though, I don’t know if anyone would take you seriously now-a-days, it’s just not subtle.

Terrain- City and Indoors


Well what do you want me to say? The fight was mostly just submachine gun vs submachine gun. Cause face it, in a realistic battle that’s what you would use. The pistol and shotgun are too close ranged and have trouble killing multiple people. And everything else was just impractical against any military grade weapon like the tommygun.

But Mr. ‘Retarded Douchebag’ is curious… “why did the Sai get less kills than the Ice Pick? The Sai are way better.” Maybe they are, but the truth is the Sai isn’t that useful against BASEBALL BAT. But can you shank someone who’s using nunchucks? Yeah. So the Mafia had BOTH of his melee weapons effective. “But why did the bat get LESS kills than the Ice Pick?” I only have two theories- Bats are hard to wield indoors/ and slow you down in a GUNFIGHT. Why else does the army use knives instead of baseballbats? Cause it’s just heavy weight slowing you down, impractical!


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