Celt vs Persian Immortal


Yes, Jamie Hyneman was crazy in his youth. They are known for aiming for weakspots and arteries, but their fighting style is very barbaric, showing uncontrolled rage instead of skill. Yes, in battle there is almost nothing scarier than a nude barbarian wanting to decapitate you.

Longsword This is a very simple sword design. It is lethal, but is quite average for a sword. Yes, a long sword is an effective weapon because of how easy it is to use swords, but this sword is pretty dull- physically dull. The expert looked like the freaking hulk and it took 3 swings to decapitate someone! Every country at or after the bronze age has a warrior with some type of sword. Swords normally have a simple design and can create very advanced fighting styles. Their ability to block, parry and attack makes it a must for most warriors. Swords normally have a superior fighting style to weapons of similar size though might face problems against some warriors who don’t use swords

Lancea As a throwing spear, the Lancea is instantly lethal and might do damage against armored foes. Yet the accuracy shown was not perfect, it could miss even at close ranges. I really wanted to see this used as a melee weapon because I saw Celtic Spearfighting on documentaries and it was amazing. Whether or not the sim did this, either way I missed seeing the effectiveness of a great martial art. I mentioned that I wanted a spear that could slash and stab while still having a martial art, and this could have been it.

Burda Burda is just a very thick stick. It is lethal but the blunt force is weak compared to most clubs. The only club attribute unique to a Burda is its light weight. I saw another variation of the burda, which was just a larger wooden stick with a triangular edge design.

Sling Sling? Fuck it.

Armor- A giant belt, a helmet and a shield is their only armor, sometimes never used. Having little or no armor should only be worn by fast, light warriors. Most light warriors normally can dodge projectiles or slow melee weapons. Heavy warriors would normally brace an attack with a shield or armor. It is a bad idea for a heavy warrior to have no armor as they will have no defense to projectiles or most melee weapons.

Terrain- Thick forests of Europe- Yeah, I found it weird that chariots are used by a forest warrior.

Persian Immortal

I find Persia to be an interesting country as its culture and military has, for thousands of years, been superior to most other nations in history (well Alex and Genghis did defeat them in war, but I say ‘superior to MOST others’). Persia is not to be underestimated by anyone; you need to be smart and powerful to defeat them. [And no one will be commenting on Iran ok? I don’t want modern political flamewars here.] No big surprise that the Persians would have one of the most famous warriors of history, the Immortals.

Sagaris The axe end was not heavily tested and looks dull. However, the spike end was able to pierce metal armor, something most weapons can’t do, that’s awesome. Yet the small size of the axe makes it very close range.

Persian Spear The Persian Spear has two fighting styles, 2 handed spear staff and 1 handed shield combo- making it adaptable and still effective. On chariot, it is very lethal and accurate. The only flaw is that it is slightly shorter than most spears.

Chariot Scythe They see me strolling, they hatin’. I loved seeing these things, especially the ones the Mythbusters made. Non-lethal? Bull! A Chariot Scythe can instantly disable an enemy soldier by sending him flying or cutting off their legs or disable an enemy’s chariot by destroying their wheels. However, to kill requires the user to get close towards their enemy, which can be a problem if the foe has a long range weapon. It also could be easy to dodge if the enemy can identify the Scythe before the strike. But fuck that, I’m gonna run over you at relatively fast speeds!

Persian Bow and Arrow The Persian Bow did not show any skill in accuracy, possibly because of its arching firing style. It appears to be used for a long range volley attack, but in 1 on 1, it is a slightly primitive bow and arrow. It still is a bow, so it still is useful.

Armor is important, but the armor can’t survive multiple blows and doesn’t offer full protection in terms of strength. It can survive long enough for 1 on 1s, which is the case for the show.

Terrain- Desert- Shooting volleys of arrows and driving chariots are best when there are no trees in your way.


The Celts had a raging crazy fighting style but the Persians fighting style were advanced compared to the primitive Celts. A Chariot fighting style was the focus of the Persians while the Celt’s weapons couldn’t operate very effectively in comparison. Celts were not designed to be charioteers, which weakened them in this chariot fight. The Persian’s armor protected him from the Celt’s short ranged fighting style while the Celt’s lack of armor made him vulnerable to the Immortal’s midrange fighting style. Persians had all their weapons lethal.

And for you Haters referring to the Battle of Thermopylae as the Persians’ epic fail moment, know this- the numbers are exaggerated in western accounts. It wasn’t 300 vs 3 million, it was more like 5,000 vs 50,000… and the Persians DID win the battle. It was a significant loss of Persian lives, but it wasn’t a suicide charge. I find it hilariously retarded in how in the movie ‘300’ king Leo kills 13 Immortals singlehanded in less than a minute without wearing chest armor, that just can’t physically happen no matter how badass you are (except for Chuck ‘Batman’ Norris). Immortals are not Stormtroopers.

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