I think the fact that we don’t know how much change the CIA has done makes them more effective and influential in the world, in a sick evil way. While the CIA has helped toppled governments and kept their allies in power without making it immediately obvious that the USA did these operations. Such allies include Pahlevi of Iran, Diem of South Vietnam, Chiang Kai-Shek of China/Taiwan, Mao of China [1970s], His Excellency President for Life Field Marshal Alhaji Dr. Idi Amin Dada of Uganda, Saddam Hussein [during Iran war], Pol Pot- hey, didn’t we talk about how evil GENOCIDAL fuck-heads those last two were? Most of these guys are evil! WTF AMERICA!? If you measure success by how much your nation fucked up the rest of the world world, I guess the CIA are better than the KGB.

Mac 10 The test did show the CIA to be organized, and I like the idea of machine pistols more than normal pistols, as you won’t see it coming. Not something I would use on the battlefield, but definitely good for assassinations. But the guy would most likely have bodyguards unless it was someone not important.

Briefcase Gun Boy, this is a weird one. I guess the assassination idea of it could work, but it must have trouble aiming since you aim it by your hip. But give it credit; at least it HAS MORE THAN 1 ROUND.

Garrote Wire UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH. What’s the point of a melee weapon that you can only use when the enemy doesn’t see you. And with all that BLOOD it’s not that ‘quiet’ of a killer, especially if the enemy struggles or cries for help. I would rather icepick in the skull, TF2 Spy style.

Exploding Cigar Well we didn’t kill Castro with this but OH HOHO was this a freaky weapon... and stupid, but in a good way. It kindof makes you paranoid when your cigar, cellphone, or puppy can explode if the CIA put C4 in it. But why is the explosion so small? The idea is to keep it quiet and secret, but if someone’s face explodes than that will attract attention. So make it bigger so that if it does explode in the hand, than it will kill them. If you are close to your target, than pretend you need to leave for some reason. “Gotta take a piss, burn in hell commie.” “Wait, wha- BOOM”


The KGB were not defeated, we just say that to make our guys more popular. They still exist, it’s the Russian Foreign Intelligence Service, and they still are effective. The end of the Cold War was only the crash of their economy, and look at the US economy now. We didn’t win, we are just the second to lose.

Skorpion SMG 61 Meh, it’s still ok. But seriously, the KGB didn’t even try to aim. Has a cooler name.

Dead Drop Spike I freaking love this thing. Never go into a Soviet vault, it might explode so you don’t get the documents, oh and you get killed as well. So be careful when looking through the filing cabinets. Also, remember everything’s reversed, so no righty tighty lefty loosey. In Soviet Russia, lefty looses you! And blows you up.

Camera Gun One shot? With an incredibly short ranged gun? Really? Great disguise, piss poor weapon.

Shoe Knife I always wanted a shoe knife, but I didn’t think they existed in real life. Well they do, and real life shows me that cool stuff doesn’t mean good. Infact this isn’t a cool weapon at all. It’s SO tiny! Seriously, kicking someone to death with this thing is just awkward, so why don’t you use a REAL KNIFE!?


This was the most retarded fight yet because of how the fight is performed. Both warriors appear as civilians and the match starts once one side assassinates the other. After that, the match goes to a normal gunfight. Other than the machine pistols, no weapon was designed for a real battle, and it was a fight between which gun was better. The CIA does perform like a spy should; organized, adaptive and quiet. The KGB are too aggressive in their tactics, making their fighting style out of place, if it wasn’t weird to begin with.

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