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Top and Bottom Warriors

I have top 4 and top 3 because sometimes I can’t narrow it down to just 3. These aren’t my favorite or least favorite warriors, these are the warriors

Top 4 Worst Ancient Warriors

  • On Foot- Maori

It’s enough that he has no armor or projectiles, but the Maori have some of the most primitive weapons EVER. His spear is a 1 hit weapon, and his other weapons are short ranged (if you use the Taliaha as a staff, it really reduces its range).

  • User of horses- Celt

The Celts are primitive and low budget (can’t blame them, they were tribesmen in 800BC). Not only is there a lack of armor (sometimes, though armored Celts are the p**sies of the tribe) but the Cetlic weapons are designed for foot and close range, not for chariots.

  • Worth Mentioning- Shaolin

Without the Twinhook Swords, Shaolin had some of the worst lethal weapons I ever seen. A staff? A WHIP? Little needle things that SPIN... oooooooh that’s… well scary when pacifist monk goes slasher.

  • Overall- Zombie

Zombie is one of my favorite warriors, but I must admit that a Zombie is also the weakest warrior ever (a single Zombie anyways). They are slow, retarded, and their weapons are either slow to kill or not instantly lethal and useless without the horde. I actually watched a lot of Zombie media and I wanted to find the most pathetic or useless weapon to kill a Zombie with. ‘Shaun of the Dead’ showed failed examples of a tennis ball, fire extinguisher, and records, but the one that killed of all things was a glass ashtray! (for second and third place for worst weapon that can kill zombies is from LFD2- The good old fashioned Cola and Gnome Chompski) But WITH the horde, Zombies can overwhelm anything (except for vampires apparently).

Top 3 Best Ancient Warriors

  • Overall- Cortes (Shut up, if you classify Vlad as an Ancient, I classify Cortes, besides his gun sucks enough to still classify him. It’s border-lining, I admit it.)

All of his weapon were significantly above average, even if not the best. But with so many good weapons, combined with a strong breastplate that doesn’t lower your speed, Cortes is ready for most situations. The gun can pierce plate armor. Although vulnerable to horse archery, you could just shoot the horse dead, for the gun is much more lethal. The Espada Ropera sword is quick and can outperform most swords on foot, though is weak on horse. So I would say being off a horse would be best, and just use the halberd against both horse and foot melee soldiers. The range and flexibility of the Alabarda is unmatched.

  • Overall if you call the previous statement Bulls**t- Knight

Like Cortes, the Knight’s weapons aren’t the best but he has so many above average and lethal weapons that, combined with the heaviest armor ever, allows the Knight to dominate melee combat. The crossbow isn’t impressive, but I doubt enemy bows can do much against Knights. So they will have to go Melee, which is suicide thanks to that armor.

  • Overall Horseman- Comanche

Ok, screw the knife. But the Comanche has a good close ranged War Hawk, a great midranged War Lance that can pierce light armor, and a bow that is the fastest and one of the most accurate bows in the show and overwhelmed the fight. Also, Comanche can work both on and off horseback while still being effective. It does have a shield to protect itself as well, though I don’t know how strong it is. But horseman are designed for speed, and Comanche have mastered speed.

Top 4 Worst Modern Warriors

  • Overall- Ming.

At least the Pirate can pierce armor, and their effective ranges are similar (cause Nest of Bees suck). But at 1300AD, they are such primitive gunfighters that really they didn’t have the time to evolve the new technology practically. Besides the weapons are great for shooting into a crowd and army, and the power of the Ming Dynasty’s army and golden age shows the performance of the Ming Warrior AT THE TIME.

  • Post American Civil War- CrazyHorse

Not only did Crazy Horse had weapons that are prone to fail (with the Herny jamming and the Club breaking) but this is made worse by just what the Lakota are. I don’t like denouncing the proud Native Americans, but you have to face the fact that tribes are unable to survive in modern warfare. They lack technology, experience and logistics of a normal army, especially when they can’t make guns and are forced to steal them.

  • Worth Mentioning- Medellin Cartel

The Machete was really the only smart choice for these guys. Like most criminals, the Cartel doesn’t think about war, they think about murder. For all modern criminals their weapons are either short ranged (Uzi), more scary than practical (Car Bomb) or the criminals don’t take into account battlefield situations like jams (M60) and it shows here. Somalis are criminals, but they are rebels and terrorists first (in Somalia, you fight to survive. Compared to that, the Cartel had it nice if they were not on an enemy hit list).

  • Worth Mentioning- Anyone using the M4 because I’ve seen this gun like 50 times already.

Can you stop using American warriors DW? It’s getting repetitive!

Best Modern Warrior

  • Best- Spetsnaz

Spetsnaz have brutal training that showed how to really train your warriors (FFL just WANT to kill their troops for the sake of legally killing immigrants cause France is surprisingly racist pricks, not the same as Spetsnaz’s idea)The Spetsnaz wants their troops to feel pain so that they can take a hit on the battlefield. Their martial arts and acrobatics allow Spetsnaz to be quick, not be a big target, and still able to attack (that’s why the spinning and flipping on the ground CAN work SOMETIMES). Also, all of their weapons are effective enough to work under any condition while not using over-budgeted weapons, instead their performance based on skill. I have to admit, if the NKSOF had a healthier economy and military budget, they could afford better weapons and outperform the Spetsnaz, maybe. But the truth is that although both warriors have similar skill, Russia has great weapons for war. So before America thinks of going to war with one of the top 3 best armies in the world, remember my advice- DON’T.

My Anti-Zombie Weapons

  • Long Ranged/Outside- A gatling or minigun with flamethrower attachment

(It’s a big weapon, I can easily weld a flamethrower on it). These machine guns do not jam and are still accurate even at full auto (their weight stops recoil, which helps). While a flamethrower can attack a large crowd and burn the Zombies, which is a weakness of Zombies (and for some reason the only thing Zombies fear are fires, but even the LFD Tank can get killed by fire very easily).

  • Midranged Weapon- Saiga Shotgun<with optional bayonet> (AK modeled weapons otherwise).

The AK weapons are durable while still effective at long ranges, but when they close the distance I want a shotgun. So I want a Shotgun that can shoot multiple targets in only a few seconds and have a simple and quick way to reload. Besides, shotguns are like a Zombie’s natural predator, it’s like a rule for Zombie films.

  • Melee Weapon- Baseball Bat (Machete for second place).

It’s like the Zombie’s other arch enemy. Instantly lethal and found virtually anywhere, the baseball bat is a survivor’s best friend. Though I do admit it can be tiring whacking 30 Zombies, I don’t know any other weapons this lethal while keeping you out of the Zombie’s hand reach.

  • The one weapon NEVER to use against Zombies- War Elephant.

It’s one thing that the Elephant would get terrified and could potentially run back at ME, but I do not want a Elephant to get bitten and turned into a Zombie. Do YOU want to fight a Zombie Elephant? F**K NO. <Oh, and if I used these weapons combined with being a Vampire, the 63-1 ratio would amp up to like, 200-1.>

Some Trivia I want to mention

Did you know how simple it is to name a warrior? Most warrior names aren’t made up at all, they all have a meaning. Obviously an Apache and Spartan are ethnicities known for their warriors. Musketeer is someone who uses a musket. Ninja is Japanese for ‘stealth’. Viking is either ‘navigator’ or ‘pirate’ in their language. Zulu warriors are named by their leader Shaka Zulu (narcissist). Spetsnaz translate to ‘special purpose’ or ‘special ops’ in Russia. Green Berets, GUESS. IRA is the Irish Republican Army (not the official army of Ireland, which is just called ‘Army’). There are other examples, but one most don’t know is Viet Cong- they are officially ‘The National Front for the Liberation of South Vietnam’ and get pissed if you call them Viet Cong. But the name Viet Cong evolved from the codename used by the US Army ‘Victor Charlie’ or VC. Another possible origin is that ‘Viet Cong’ translates to ‘Vietnamese Communists’.

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