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Top 10 Best Experts

(going from #10 to ending with #1)

Somali Pirate Expert Abdi Aji

For being the first in the Aftermath to admit that he didn’t think his warrior would win and for having the balls to visit Somalia recently.

Normal Pirate Experts

For looking as cutthroat and filthy as the real historical pirates.

Warriors that look like their Warriors

The pirate experts COULD look like pirates, but some experts DO look like their warriors. The Pancho Villa expert (not the giant fat one obviously), Teddy Roosevelt expert, ect.

Vampire Expert Steve Niles

I can tell that a lot of ladies will automatically fall in love with goth guys like him. Besides Steve is cool.

The Al Capone Experts

I want to say that these guys look just like Mafia dons, but no, they are directly related to them! They still have that Soprano feel and Fratto was talking like a true Italian… and what I mean is shouting F-Bombs every minute. And now for the top 5

Aftermath Host and William Wallace Expert Kieron Elliott

For being such a great aftermath host, doing a cereal commercial and doing karaoke with IRA expert Skoti Collins! [1] The reason why he isn’t higher is because I think being the Aftermath Host might be an unfair advantage for him compared with other experts.

Zande Experts

For being fucking insane, just like their family back home. The sword test had the guy rip out some neck flesh and then wash his face with fake blood. NYUM NYUM!

Host Max Geiger

May you rest in peace, and may your replacement be sent to hell to be ripped apart by Zombies. You will be missed.

Vlad Experts

Like the other vampire expert wasn’t emo enough, these guys are emo and bloodthirsty (Vampire joke HAHA). Nothing says awesome like effortlessly dicing up a pig or pummeling someone with a musket.

Number 1 is… Spetsnaz Experts

No contest really. They show everything about their warrior; cold blooded, skilled, disciplined, intelligent, it’s the perfect warrior right here! Shaking off punches from a karate blackbelt like NOTHING. I also saw Sony on a lot of other documentaries and demonstrated the Spetsnaz martial arts and unique handling of weapons.


Worst Experts

From bad to worst, #5 to #1. Mainly the reason for why to hate them.

Saddam Expert General Sabah Khodada

I don’t like the idea of traitors, but since Saddam wanted to execute this guy, I might forgive him for that. But WHY did they need a translator? Just subtitle it! Cause that would get really annoying really fast. PS, you old.

Zombie Expert Max Brooks

I know I like Zombies, but this guy just has NERD written all over him. He might not have acme or glasses, but you can tell he got bullied as a kid. But worst of all is that they had a fucking remix of him in the Zombie aftermath didn’t they? WTF was that? Fucking season 3…

Green Beret Experts

I just hate how these guys are like. They keep on saying ‘Oh Americans are smart, that’s our advantage’, while they have a shovel and their pistol shooting is just disorganized. Even their witty comebacks aren’t even witty.

The Kung Fu Experts

For some reason many of the kung fu fighting experts are exactly the same. Small blackhaired Chinese guys who look exactly alike and act like immature punks.

Host Mack Mach

NO BODY LIKES YOU! If YOU say you do, you’re wrong. It’s not ruining an episode, it’s the entire fucking season. Now that you are in the videogame, I can test my fatalities on you and enjoy every disembowelment. Scrappy fucked up Scooby Doo, JarJar fucked up Star Wars, 4Kids fucked up everything, and Mack’s Season 3 fucked up this show.

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