Top Episodes of Each Season

Season 1 Best

  • Yakuza vs. Mafia

With a large variety of gangster weapons, violent experts and one of the best fights ever on DW- showing a brutal bat beatdown and killer fatality, Yakuza Mafia scores my #1 for Nostalgic Season 1.

  • Pirate Knight

The tests and the fight solved a big question that I’m sure a lot of people were asking: why did Knights and armor go extinct on the practical battlefield? Was the pirate weapons just less expensive, or was it better? This fight showed the fall of ancient combat to the armor piercing blackpower weapons.

  • Viking vs. Samurai

The #3 goes to some of the most impressive weapons used by two successful warriors. Both sides had impressive weapons, all delivering their own style of overkill. Samurai using speed, style and cutting power against Viking’s brute force and power.

Season 2 Best

  • Somali Cartel

WHERE’S MY F**KING MONEY!? A hilarious fight of two criminals of different fighting styles; overkill intimidation, reliable soviet performance/ rich but impractical, poor but battle prooven. The weapons were awesome, and the Cartel were blood thirsty. Seriously, one of them was a cokehead ally of Medellin, the other had a cokehead mother who is probably the only whore to kill pimps- that’s how serious this s**t is.

  • Aztec Jaguar vs. Zande Warrior

Everyone likes the Chainsaw Sword, even when it failed to confirm the myth of instant horse decapitation. But the Zande, the unknown warrior of The Congo, stole the show. With d**k weapons that will obliterate anyone and the bloody NYUM NYUM with their deformed teeth! Don’t fight the Zande, they somehow managed to survive today.

  • Ming Warriors vs. French Musketeers

You know everyone loved the Ming weapons, but the French weapons- although somewhat boring- where still obviously effective. Still, we see a small mountain of explosives and 30 firework weapon.

Season 3 Best

Season 3 was just so different than the other seasons, it was like another show entirely. Any ‘good’ episode was as good as a bad episode from season 1 and 2. So it was hard to decide because I’m actually discouraged when watching a Season 3 rerun because all I will be doing is getting pissed off when someone nods their heads.

  • Genghis Khan vs. Hannibal

For having good swords and sword tests, and THE ELEPHANT crushing a human into hamburger meat.

  • Joan of Arc vs. William the Conqueror

For showing siege weapons delivering serious carnage to the human targets while still being accurate. I like the siege tests, including the crossbow test. Also it’s nice to see FINALLY a female warrior (not including KGB, CIA, Bella the Vampire, 50 of the Zombies and any others I missed).

  • Gurkha vs FFL

I like the knife test, tactics and the simulated fight. Can’t really think of anything else to say, but I found it weird that there were so many scenes of the FFL dying. Seriously, you are not going to win my support by claiming your warrior is designed to DIE.

Worst Episodes of Each Season

Season 1 Worst

  • Maori vs Shaolin Monk

Although both are great martial artists, the weapons of both sides are just ineffective. Most of the Maori weapons are extremely primitive while the Shaolin has less-lethal weapons. The Hook Swords were so out of place, because it was steel, effective weapons and lethal- so of course it would stand out.

  • The rest were pretty good.

Season 2 Worst

  • CIA vs KGB

The entire idea of this episode was retarded. The submachineguns are the only ACTUAL WEAPONS, so ofcourse they would win the fight for the CIA. Also, even though these guys are government officials, they are bigger terrorists than any other. Hell, I think their actions created the Taliban. (Russia creates instability by invading Afghanistan, and US funded BIN LADEN to kick out the Russians. <Not lying, look it up.>) This also is the #1 worst episode SO FAR.

  • Navy SEALs vs. Israeli Commandos

The Israeli expert just didn’t seem skilled, his pistol work was pathetic. And does the Navy SEALs really think ‘knifefighting’ means ‘stabbing the f*** out of their chest’? Also, why use the MICRO Gali? Why not use the REGULAR GALI?

  • SWAT vs. GSG 9

I don’t know why, but I easily forget about this episode and don’t care about re-watching it. Didn’t leave much of an impact.

Season 3 Worst

  • Zombie Vampire

No single episode should be so hyped for so many weeks if it doesn’t pay off when it does appear. Ironically, this episode made me a zombie nerd. As I said before, the most hyped fight was nothing more than headshot spamming and overusing one weapon 180 times. I know anything there is to know about the idea and physical attributes of zombies now; though don’t ask me too many questions about films no one heard of. #1 worst in season 3.

  • US Army Rangers vs. North Korean Special Operations Forces

Although I was interested in the North Koreans, the American bias was just tattooed all over this episode. And I hate seeing the M4 againagainagain…….. And I want to mention that people should be WARNED, the fact that the NKSOF performed so well yet are 10 times larger of a Special Op Force means South Korea would be screwed without our help, and the next Korean War will be bloody.

  • George Washington vs. Napoleon Bonaparte

This was close, but the truth is the tests were dull (other than the cannon, but even then it wasn’t much) and the fight was dull. Also there could be an American bias in here.

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